can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
