You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
