lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
