he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
