we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
