but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
