New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Sacagawea was the original milf.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
