I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
4 words: hood of his car
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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