I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
