Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
