Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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