I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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