If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Randomize
