make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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