So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
