He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
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