please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
