Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
