omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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