well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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