Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
