Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
