allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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