I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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