I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
