That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
