Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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