Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Just pee around me
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
