So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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