Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
