Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
