I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
