R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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