At least make sure they are 18
Why
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
