she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
