She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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