And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
