We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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