we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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