There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
