A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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