We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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