you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
