OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
