I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
