i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
