I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
