Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
