Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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