he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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