i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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