She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
