Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
